www.sonypictures.com
Madison Mathews
Movie Columnist
February 24, 2006
|
|
|
Steve Martin stars in 'The Pink Panther.' www.sonypictures.com |
If Peter Sellers were alive today he would probably have
Steve Martin assassinated. Instead, he must be turning over in his grave, as
Martin takes over the reigns as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau in the
unnecessary 2006 snore-fest, “The Pink Panther.”
You might be asking yourself, “Wasn’t that movie already made, and didn’t it
spawn eight sequels?” The answer to that question is yes. Why the sudden need
for a remake/re-vamp of the series? Simple answer: MONEY.
2006’s “The Pink Panther” is a lot like watching a car accident. You can’t take
your eyes off of it, because it’s so horrible.
The very flimsy plot unfolds a little like this: A soccer coach is murdered and
his pink diamond ring, the Pink Panther, goes missing. Enter Inspector Clouseau,
who’s brought in to help solve the case. Somewhere along the line Beyonce shows
up, Jean Reno leaps into a role that is fit for a monkey, Clive Owen makes an
unnecessary cameo (the only funny bit in the whole flick), and Martin destroys
the legacy of Peter Sellers.
I tried to find something halfway decent within the movie, but there’s not one
redeeming thing about it. The plot is filled with so many holes, it makes it
look as if it were processed within a Swiss-cheese factory. From the very
beginning it’s just one terrible sight-gag after another, and none of them are
funny.
Everything about the film is pure, unadulterated cinematic dreck, or trash. The
script is awful; the acting is no better. Beyonce needs to stick to singing in
order to keep the human race from dying of boredom while watching her “act,”
Reno looks confused as to why he’s in the film to begin with, and Kevin Kline
doesn’t seem to know what kind of accent he’s supposed to have. I’m still trying
to figure out if he was French, British or English.
Steve Martin just can’t compete with Sellers. Sellers created the role of
Clouseau. Sellers was Inspector Clouseau. Martin needs to stop making movies. He
hasn’t had a good movie in years, and ‘Panther’ doesn’t improve his track
record. Maybe he should sit himself down and watch “The Jerk,” just to remember
what it was like to be funny.
“The Pink Panther” is a waste of time This movie shouldn’t have been made. Do
yourself a favor and stay far away from this stinker. It gets the goose egg,
folks.
0 out of 5 stars