Amber Saferight
Guest Contributor
September 16, 2005
To the class of 2009: If I could tell you one thing, it would be this - do not date your first semester.
Yeah, you’ve probably heard this one before! I'm perfectly fine with repeating
it. It’s the type of advice that you ignore when you hear it, remember after you
made the famous mistake and, when you’re an older, wiser sophomore, you will
repeat it to incoming freshmen. So goes the cycle.
Let me give you the breakdown: college does not exist for you to get a “Mrs.”
degree. College is a marvelous experience during which you may find the love of
your life, but first, adapt to your new life, schedule, culture… you.
To me, the liberal education that Milligan endorses means that you are
discovering yourself for the first time. Thus far, you have been defined by your
household, what you've been brought up to believe, etc. Every one of the things
that has defined you up to this point will probably be challenged. The last
thing you need is a girl or boy to impress. Standing on your own and knowing
that it’s God, not a member of the opposite sex, who validates you is perhaps
the most important thing you will ever learn in college.
Besides “searching for yourself,” first and foremost you have your grades to
consider! And, because Social Affairs is “where college really happens,” you
also want to meet as many new friends as possible.
Believe it or not, it”s
hard to get to know people when you are attached at the hip - or lip as it may
be - to a significant other.
Dating someone seriously is not a good idea at the start of your freshman year.
However, I advocate having fun. TWIRP week is one of the best weeks of the year.
I guess it’s because guys are intimidated by me, but I’ve only been asked out a
handful of times - hinted at, but rarely asked out. Every dance has been a Sadie
Hawkins for me. Thus, I am a natural at TWIRP week. However, there are three
rules of TWIRP week to live by.
#1: Just because you had a fun TWIRP date does not mean you should now be
boyfriend and girlfriend. There are countless relationships that begin and end
during TWIRP week - girls, if you’re going to date someone, date on his dollar!
#2: Have fun. I tend to ask friends that I haven’t hung out with in ages or
boost a guy’s self esteem by going with a couple girls and splitting the cost of
the date. Make the ratio work for you!
#3: Be a player. But don't go broke.
I guess by now you're thinking that it’s easy for me to say all this. After all,
I’m a senior with a boyfriend. Granted. But the advice comes from both personal
experience and three years of watching others get their first semester distorted
by hormones. Very few first semester relationships last long term. Essentially,
what I want to bring across to you is that the first semester is the best time
to prioritize. You live and learn.
The more I go through day-to-day, the more I realize God has a sense of humor.
He has good comic timing. When you’re impatient, he’ll make you go slow; when
you have become comfortable in not dating, he puts the right person in your
path. It takes a while to be secure in the unknown, you might as well start now.
So, hold off that walk to the post office, and heaven forbid you go to the
gazebo! Life is too short to become attached your first semester.
P.S. If you take my advice to heart, also remember - anyone who really wants to
date you would be willing to wait until the end of the semester or whenever
you're ready.
Upperclassmen - just because it’s not your first semester and you’re starting to
get scared - leave the freshmen in peace.