Elizabeth Barrett Browning
(1806-1861)

 

Aurora Leigh

(1857)
 

From BOOK 2

Times followed one another.  Came a morn

I stood upon the brink of twenty years,

And looked before and after, as I stood

Woman and artist,—either incomplete,

Both credulous of completion. There I held

The whole creation in my little cup,

And smiled with thirsty lips before I drank

“Good health to you and me, sweet neighbour mine,

And all these peoples.”

                                                I was glad that day;

The June was in me, with its multitudes

Of nightingales all singing in the dark,

And rosebuds reddening where the calayx split.

I felt so young, so strong, so sure of God!

So glad, I could not choose be very wise!

And, old at twenty, was inclined to pull

My childhood backward in a childish jest

To see the face of’t once more, and farewell!

In which fantastic mood I bounded forth

At early morning,—would not wait so long

As even to snatch my bonnet by the strings,

But, brushing a green trail across the lawn

With my gown in the dew, took will and away

Among the acacias of the shrubberies,

To fly my fancies in the open air

And keep my birthday, till my aunt awoke

To stop good dreams. Meanwhile I murmured on

As honeyed bees keep humming to themselves,

“The worthiest poets have remained uncrowned

Till death has bleached their foreheads to the bone;

And so with me it must be unless I prove

Unworthy of the grand adversity;

And certainly I would not fail so much.

What, therefore, if I crown myself to-day

In sport, not pride, to learn the feel of it;

Before my brows be numbed as Dante’s own

To all the tender pricking of such leaves?

Such leaves! what leaves?”

                                                I pulled the branches down

To choose from.

                                    “Not the bay! I choose no bay

(The fates deny us if we are overbold),

Nor myrtle—which means chiefly love; and love

Is something awful which ones dares not touch

So early o’ mornings. This verbena strains

The point of passionate fragrance; and hard by,

This guelder-rose, at far too slight a beck

Of the wind will toss about her flower-apples.

Ah—there’s my choice,—that ivy on the wall,

That headlong ivy! not a leaf will grow

But thinking of a wreath. Large leaves, smooth leaves,

Serrated like my vines, and half as green.

I like such ivy, bold to leap a height

‘Twas strong to climb; as good to grow on graves

As twist about a thyrsus; pretty too

(And that’s not ill) when twisted round a comb.”

Thus speaking to myself, half singing it,

Because some thoughts are fashioned like a bell

To ring with once being touched, I drew a wreath

Drenched, blinding me with dew, across my brow,

And fastening it behind me so, turning faced

…My public!—cousin Romney—with a mouth

Twice graver than his eyes.

                                    I stood there fixed,—

My arms up, like the caryatid, sole

Of some abolished temple, helplessly

Persistent in a gesture which derides

A former purpose. Yet my blush was flame,

As if from flax, not stone.

                                    “Aurora Leigh,

The earliest of Auroras!”

                                    Hand stretched out

I clasped, as shipwrecked men will clasp a hand,

Indifferent to the sort of palm. The tide

Had caught me at my pastime, writing down

My foolish name too near upon the sea

Which drowned me with a blush as foolish.  “You

My cousin!”

                        The smile died out in his eyes

And dropped upon his lips, a cold dead weight,

For just a moment, “Here’s a book I found!

No name writ on it—poems, by the form;

Some Greek upon the margin,—lady’s Greek

Without the accents. Read it? Not a word.

I saw at once the thing had witchcraft in’t,

Whereof the reading calls up dangerous spirits:

I rather bring it to the witch.”

                                                “My book.

You found it” …

                                    “In the hollow by the stream

That beech leans down into—of which you said

The Oread in it has a Naiad’s heart

And pines for waters.”

                                      “Thank you.”

                                                “Thanks to you

My cousin! that I have seen you not too much

Witch, scholar, poet, dreamer, and the rest,

To be a woman also.”

                                    With a glance

The smile rose in his eyes again and touched

The ivy on my forehead, light as air.

I answered gravely “Poets needs must be

Or men or women—more’s the pity.”

                                                            “Ah,

But men, and still less women, happily,

Scarce need be poets. Keep to the green wreath,

Since even dreaming of the stone and bronze

Brings headaches, pretty cousin, and defiles

The clean white morning dresses.”

                                                “So you judge!

Because I love the beautiful I must

Love pleasure chiefly, and be overcharged

For ease and whiteness! well, you know the world,

And only miss your cousin, ‘tis not much.

But learn this; I would rather take my part

With God’s Dead, who afford to walk in white

Yet spread His glory, than keep quiet here

And gather up my feet from even a step

For fear to soil my gown in so much dust.

I choose to walk at all risks.—Here, if heads

That hold a rhythmic thought, must ache perforce,

For my part, I choose headaches,—and to-day’s

My birthday.”

                        “Dear Aurora, choose instead

To cure them. You have balsams.”

                                                “I perceive.

The headache is too noble for my sex.

You think the heartache would sound decenter,

Since that’s the woman’s special, proper ache

And altogether tolerable, except

To a woman.”

 

* * *

 

                                    There he glowed on me

With all his face and eyes. “No other help?”

Said he—“no more than so?”

                                    “What help?” I asked.

“You’d scorn my help,—as Nature’s self, you say,

Has scorned to put her music in my mouth

Because a woman’s.  Do you now turn round

And ask for what a woman cannot give?”

 

“For what she only can, I turn and ask,”

He answered, catching up my hands in his,

And dropping on my soul from his high-eaved brow

The full weight of his soul,—“I ask for love,

And that, she can; for life in fellowship

Through bitter duties—that, I know she can;

For wifehood—will she?”

                                    “Now,” I said, “may God

Be witness ‘twixt us two!” and with the word,

Meseemed I floated into a sudden light

Above his stature,—“am I proved too weak

To stand alone, yet strong enough to bear

Such leaners on my shoulder? poor to think,

Yet rich enough to sympathise with thought?

Incompetent to sing, as blackbirds can,

Yet competent to love, like HIM?”

                                                I paused;

Perhaps I darkened, as the lighthouse will

That turns upon the sea. “It’s always so.

Anything does for a wife.”

                                                “Aurora, dear,

And dearly honoured,”—he pressed in at once

With eager utterance,—“you translate me ill.

I do not contradict my thought of you

Which is more reverent, with another thought

Found less so. If your sex is weak for art

(And I, who said so, did but honour you

By using truth in courtship), it is strong

For life and duty. Place you fecund heart

In mine, and let us blossom for the world

That wants love’s colour in the grey of time.

My talk, meanwhile, is arid to you, ay,

Since all my talk can only set you where

You  look down coldly on the arena-heaps

Of headless bodies, shapeless, indistinct!

The Judgment-Angel scarce would find his way

Through such a heap of generalised distress

To the individual man with lips and eyes,

Much less Aurora. Ah, my sweet, come down,

And hand in hand we’ll go, where yours shall touch

These victims, one by one till, one by one,

The formless, nameless trunk of every man

Shall seem to wear a head with hair you know,

And every woman catch your mother’s face

To melt you into passion.”

                                                “I am a girl,”

I answered slowly; “you do well to name

My mother’s face. Though far too early, alas,

God’s hand did interpose ‘twixt it and me,

I know so much of love as used to shine

In that face and another. Just so much;

No more indeed at all. I have not seen

So much love since, I pray you pardon me,

As answers even to make a marriage with

In this cold land of England. What you love

Is not a woman, Romney, but a cause:

You want a helpmate, not a mistress, sir,

A wife to help your ends,—in her no end.

Your cause is noble, your ends excellent,

But I, being most unworthy of these and that,

Do otherwise conceive of love, Farewell.”

 

“Farewell, Aurora? you reject me thus?”

He said.

            “Sir, you were married long ago.

You have a wife already whom you love,

Your social theory. Bless you both, I say.

For my part, I am scarcely meek enough

To be the handmaid of a lawful spouse.

Do I look a Hagar, think you?”

                                                “So you jest.”

 

“Nay, so I speak in earnest,” I replied.

“You treat of marriage too much like, at least,

A chief apostle, you would bear with you

A wife…a sister…shall we speak it out?

A sister of charity.”

                                    “Then must it be

Indeed farewell? And was I so far wrong

In hope and in illusion, when I took

The woman to be nobler than the man,

Yourself the noblest woman, in the use

And comprehension of what love is,—love,

That generates the likeness of itself

Through all heroic duties? so far wrong,

In saying bluntly, venturing truth on love,

‘Come, human creature, love and work with me,’—

Instead of ‘Lady, thou art wondrous fair,

‘And, where the Graces walk before, the Muse

‘Will follow at the lightning of their eyes,

‘And where the Muse walks, lovers need to creep:

‘Turn round and love me, or I die of love.’”

 

With quiet indignation I broke in.

“You misconceive the question like a man,

Who sees a woman as the complement

Of his sex merely. You forget too much

That every creature, female as the male,

Stands single in responsible act and thought

As also in birth and death. Whoever says

To a loyal woman, ‘Love and work with me,’

Will get fair answers if the work and love,

Being good themselves, are good for her—the best

She was born for. Women of a softer mood,

Surprised by men when scarcely awake to life,

Will sometimes only hear the first word, love,

And catch up with it any kind of work,

Indifferent, so that dear love go with it.

I do not blame such women, though, for love,

They pick much oakum; earth’s fanatics make

Too frequently heaven’s saints. But me your work

Is not the best for,—nor your love the best,

Nor able to commend the kind of work

For love’s sake merely. Ah, you force me, sir,

To be overbold in speaking of myself:

I too have my vocation,—work to do,

The heavens and earth have set me since I changed

My father’s face for theirs, and, though your world

Were twice as wretched as you represent,

Most serious work, most necessary work

As any of the economists’. Reform,

Make trade a Christian possibility,

And individual right no general wrong;

Wipe out earth’s furrows of the Thine and Mine,

And leave one green for men to play at bowls,

With innings for them all!…What then, indeed,

If mortals are not greater by the head

Than any of their prosperities? what then,

Unless the artist keep up open roads

Betwixt the seen and unseen,—bursting through

The best of your conventions with his best,

The speakable, imaginable best

God bids him speak, to prove what lies beyond

Both speech and imagination? A starved man

Exceeds a fat beast: we’ll not barter, sir,

The beautiful for barley.—And, even so,

I hold you will not compass your poor ends

Of barley-feeding and material ease,

Without a poet’s individualism

To work your universal. It takes a soul,

To move a body: it takes a high-souled man,

To move the masses, even to a cleaner stye;

It takes the ideal, to blow a hair’s-breadth off

The dust of the actual.—Ah, your Fouriers failed,

Because not poets enough to understand

That life develops from within.—For me,

Perhaps I am not worthy, as you say,

Of work like this: perhaps a woman’s soul

Aspires, and not creates: yet we aspire,

And yet I’ll try out your perhapses, sir,

And if I fail…why, burn me up my straw

Like other false works—I’ll not ask for grace;

Your scorn is better, cousin Romney. I

Who love my art, would never wish it lower

To suit my stature. I may love my art,

You’ll grant that even a woman may love art,

Seeing that to waste true love on anything

Is womanly, past question.”

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Sonnet 43

(from Sonnets from the Portuguese)

 

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

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